Forced to Marry at 15: Teen get Raped Everyday until pregnancy

For most brides, their wedding day is the happiest day of their lives, but for 15-year-old Rubbie, it was her worst nightmare as she was set to marry a man twice her age.

After growing up in Wales, Rubie was flown to Bangladesh in India by her family, who made it their mission to find her a husband. The country’s law allows under-18s to marry if they have their father’s consent and Rubie’s dad wanted nothing more than to put a ring on her finger.

Now married to a man decades older than her, Rubie faced a horrific life as she experienced rape daily from her husband and fell pregnant within a year, aged just 16. When opening up about her tragic experiences she said that no girl should have to go through what she did.

“I spent years of my life desperately trying to numb myself from the pain of my reality,” she told Fabulous. And yet for Rubie, her life started out seemingly normal, growing up by the seaside with her family, a group of seven siblings.

Now 42, she recalls the moment everything changed for her, when she, along with her sister, both hit puberty. Her family was always religious and she felt that they kept her quite sheltered as a child, with a lot of restrictions in place – especially when it came to dating.

Both Rubie and her sister weren’t allowed to talk to boys or wear anything her parents considered to be “revealing” or “figure hugging”. Although, when she was 15 and her sister 18, they had secret boyfriends, but with her sister being older, she was able to move out once her parents disapproved of her life choices.

After her sister had affected the family’s ‘honour’, she quickly noticed a mood shift amongst the men in her family. What she didn’t quite know is they were plotting her future for her.

Whilst on what was described to be a family holiday to her parents’ homeland, her family conspired against her to set her up for marriage with a man in his 30s. She said:“My mum beckoned me over and pointed to a strange man. She told me that was the man I was going to marry.

“I just remember the look of pain and sadness on her face. At that moment he looked pretty young. I assumed he was a similar age to me. It wasn’t until I saw our marriage certificate when I turned 16 the following January that I realised he was in his 30s. I was in disbelief and denial – I was just totally numb.”

In the lead-up to the wedding, she felt both her mind and her body completely “disconnected” from reality. That same feeling continued into her forced marriage as it was expected of her to “give him her body” without consent.

ADVERTISEMENT

She said: “A couple of days after was when the rape started, and it was just continuous after that.” Soon enough Rubie fell pregnant, and at nine weeks her family decided it was time to fly her back home to Wales, leaving her husband behind in India.

Now faced with the reality of her situation, Rubie felt helpless and decided to take an overdose in an attempt to end her own life. The next day was when she had her first scan and heard the heartbeat of her baby, it was then that she decided to “carry on living for this baby.”

After the birth of her baby, who was born prematurely in October, plans were in place for Rubie’s husband to join her in the UK. She made an attempt to escape with her daughter but soon enough her family was able to track her down, forcing her back home in Wales.

It was until 2000, when Rubie saw a school friend walk past the house, and after a long time away from school herself with no questions asked, she made a brave decision. The struggling teen ran outside and “begged” her to help.

She said: “I explained what had happened to me, and she took me to her parents’ house, and they helped me contact the police. Because there was so little education on honour-based abuse, they didn’t arrive till the following morning.

“They escorted me to the house, and I left with my daughter and a Tesco bag of clothes and took a train back to the Midlands.” Although what was supposed to be her happily ever after soon landed her in another abusive relationship, as she admits she was “used to being mistreated”.

Together they had a child in 2002. It was until five years after that that she finally broke free of her abusive relationship, which ended in her having to get a restraining order.

Rubie told Fabulous: “I went right back to what the eight-year-old me had wanted to do and achieve before any of this had happened. I had wanted to see the world, and so that’s what I did.”

Now, after suffering years of trauma, she focuses her time and energy towards creating a happy and healthy life for herself and others. Rubie is now an ambassador for the Sundial Centre, where she works to help educate others on forced marriage and what is known as honour-based abuse.

She said: “I need other survivors to realise that there is hope and help out there, you just have to reach out for it.”