Experts from various fields have advocated against the societal masculinity stereotypes for better gender equity.
They made this declaration during the Men’s Conference tagged: ‘Redefining Masculinity’ convened by Mopelola Arowosafe, founder of the Lineage of Grace Initiative for Family (LOGIFF).
The discussants said men also have emotions to be catered for as they asserted that the notion that ‘A real man’ is stoic and without emotion should be eradicated.
While speaking at the event, the Special Adviser on Security Matters to the Ogun State Governor, Olusola Kamar Subair, expressed concerns that asking for help seems to be more of a taboo for men in the society.
“That we must be made of stone 24/7 is wrong and imbalanced. He affirmed that men should be allowed to cry whenever there is a need to do so rather than bottling up issues that affect their mental health.
The Rtd. AIG said the assumption that men don’t reap the fruits of their labour over their children is because they are not always present. He advised that men should be intentional and actively involved in their children’s upbringing.
Similarly, Olarenwaju Olujimi, the first Professor of Environmental Management and Toxicology in Nigeria, based in the UK, challenged the gender stereotypes. He said the equity should be everywhere “Men should not suffer in silence especially when you have mental challenges, there should be a platform for men to express themselves, because of societal judgement. He said some men have died because of internal injury”.
Prof Olujimi further lamented that there is much emphasis on the girl child. “There is so much emphasis on the girl child, while the boy child is left alone, afterwards when they grow, the good girl will definitely meet a bad boy”.
Dr Demola Adegbile reiterated the narrative that men should not be petty and childish. He said you can either be a boy or a man. According to him, It all depends on the level of maturity. If a man can’t express his vulnerability, then he becomes cruel. The world is the way it is now because we have the male gender and not men, we do not have substantial men any longer” he added.
Meanwhile, the convener of the program, Mopelola Arowosafe, who also marked her 46th birthday in a grand style, opined that Masculinity should be redefined in a proper way.
He affirmed that it should involve “Creating safe spaces for men to discuss their emotions such as workshops focusing on communication skills and emotional intelligence can be particularly effective”.
“Establishing groups where men can share their experiences thereby reducing feelings of isolation.
She further said, “Schools Should integrate discussions about gender and identity into their curricula, teaching young boys about respect, empathy, and emotional health from an early age”.
In his own opinion, Dr Oluwaniran Malaolu, CEO of Rock City FM in Ogun State, pointed out that there are certain characters men should possess.
“Men should balance all situations, should not use strength against women, that is not what makes you a man, as a man you do not have to be aggressive”
Pastor Adekunle Arowosafe said that drinking alcohol or smoking is not what makes a man a man, having marathon sex or multiple sexual partners is not what makes a man. In his words, “A man should be responsible and share ideas with their spouse”.
Dr Daniel Ayeni, a Family Health Consultant in Ogun State, gave reasons why men die before their spouses.
He said men are exposed to many risks that should be prevented.
“Men always take so many risks, naturally the society expects men to be valiant, the solution to longevity for men is for them to always speak up. He further said, most times men don’t seek medical attention early, men only visit medical centers when it is between life and death.
To guide against unwarranted deaths, the medical expert advocated Preventive care and charged men to always do regular checkups and not wait until they are sick.
The family consultants suggested that men should do their periodic check at least once in six months.
