By Abayomi Aiyepola
Kolawole Ajetumobi’s thoughtful exposition on Ifá’s teachings regarding marriage, polygamy, and relationships is a brilliant illumination of traditional wisdom, deeply rooted in divine knowledge. His ability to weave cultural insights with pragmatic life lessons is commendable, offering a nuanced perspective that enriches contemporary discussions on marriage.
Marriage in Ifá: Wisdom, Responsibility, and Destiny
The sacred Ifá corpus presents marriage as a journey shaped by destiny (Orí), character, and divine guidance rather than rigid laws. While some have claimed that Ọ̀YẸ̀KÚ MÉJÌ mandates monogamy, Ajetumobi clarifies that this Odù does not prohibit polygamy but warns of its inherent challenges. The passage highlights how increasing the number of wives introduces layers of responsibilities, complexities, and the need for deep wisdom. Ifá neither prescribes monogamy nor enforces polygamy but emphasizes personal alignment with one’s divine path.
Similarly, Islamic teachings allow both monogamy and polygamy, with strong conditions on fairness and responsibility. Surah An-Nisa (4:3) permits polygamy but stresses that a man must be just between his wives, warning in 4:129 that true equality in affection is nearly impossible. Christianity, while often advocating monogamy, also acknowledges polygamous figures like Abraham, David, and Solomon. Yet, 1 Corinthians 7:2 encourages monogamy, underscoring mutual commitment.
Ifá, like Islam and Christianity, prioritizes discipline, responsibility, and honesty in marriage. ÒBÀRÀ MÉJÌ teaches women to respect their husbands, while OGBÈ ÌYỌ́NÚ urges men to exercise patience. This mirrors Ephesians 5:25, which commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, and Surah Ar-Rum (30:21), which describes marriage as a source of tranquility, love, and mercy.
The Unpredictability of Destiny in Marriage
Ifá acknowledges that marriage outcomes are often beyond human control. ÒFÚN MÉJÌ explains that some men who never planned polygamy may find themselves with additional wives due to destiny’s design. This aligns with Proverbs 16:9: “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Similarly, Islam teaches Qadar (divine predestination), emphasizing that events unfold by Allah’s will, including relationships.
A particularly striking Ifá narrative involves Poroye, a childless woman whose destiny intertwined with Orunmila’s. Through adherence to divine instructions, her situation was miraculously resolved. This story echoes Genesis 18:10-14, where Sarah, though barren, conceives Isaac by divine decree, and Surah Al-Anbiya (21:89-90), where Prophet Zakariya’s prayers for a child are answered. The message is clear: obedience to divine will and patience yield results.
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The Psychological and Social Dynamics of Polygamy
Ifá provides a realistic appraisal of polygamous homes, cautioning that jealousy, gossip, and power struggles are natural occurrences. The Odù highlights that mismanagement leads to disorder, an idea reinforced in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:233), which commands fair treatment of all family members. Islam’s regulations on polygamy exist precisely to mitigate these conflicts, just as Ifá advises deep wisdom in handling multiple wives.
Additionally, Ifá warns against women assuming that a man marries a second wife due to faults in the first. The second wife should add value, not discord, to the home. 1 Peter 3:1-4 and Surah An-Nisa (4:19) both advise women to cultivate virtue and wisdom, rather than comparison or rivalry.
The Interplay of Spirituality and Practical Wisdom in Marriage.
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Ifá stresses the necessity of divine consultation before marriage, echoing the importance of seeking Allah’s guidance in Istikhara (Islamic prayer for decision-making) and the Christian practice of praying for marital wisdom (James 1:5). Just as Ifá warns women against “jumping from one husband to another,” Malachi 2:16 describes divorce as displeasing to God, and Surah Al-Talaq (65:2-3) advises patience and faith in navigating marital struggles.
A particularly profound Ifá teaching concerns the unique spiritual needs of some women. Certain women must marry a Babalawo (priest) for their well-being, a concept paralleling the idea that a believing woman should marry a man who understands and nurtures her faith. 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns against unions where partners are spiritually incompatible, and Surah Al-Baqarah (2:221) advises Muslims to marry those who support their faith.
Life’s Ultimate Lesson: Understanding and Accepting Destiny
The overarching lesson is clear—marriage, like all aspects of life, must align with one’s divine path. Ifá, Islam, and Christianity all teach that human desires must submit to a higher wisdom. A monogamous woman should not force herself into a polygamous home, and a man should not enter polygamy without the necessary wisdom. Jeremiah 29:11 assures that God has plans for each individual, while Surah Al-Ahzab (33:36) reminds believers that they have no choice but to obey divine decree.
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Ultimately, Ifá reminds us that personal character, patience, and divine guidance determine marital success—not rigid structures. Whether monogamous or polygamous, a marriage thrives when both partners understand their divine purpose and act with wisdom.
Ajetumobi’s Contribution to Cultural and Spiritual Discourse
Kolawole Ajetumobi’s work is a masterful synthesis of tradition and contemporary relevance. By engaging with Ifá’s wisdom, he not only preserves cultural heritage but also offers pragmatic guidance for modern relationships. His clarity, depth, and humor make complex spiritual truths accessible, and his emphasis on divine consultation resonates across faith traditions. For this, he deserves immense appreciation.
May we all seek wisdom in our choices and accept destiny with grace.
Abayomi Aiyepola writes from Abeokuta, Nigeria.
