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RESPECT FOR THE BEREAVED FAMILY

ValidViewNetwork by ValidViewNetwork
August 6, 2022
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To everything in life there is an end and unfortunately no man knows when the end of another or of himself will come or how it will come. No one knows when the bracket will close as this is the exclusive preserve of the Almighty God. We have seen cases whereby a man that had been sick for years did not die and another is dead from a brief sickness.

I have observed with serious concerns how people rush to announce the death of another man who is not related to them as if there is a competition and a prize for the one to first announce it. I strongly consider this as one of the dangers of social media. This could be awful. Maybe it can be understandable if the announcement is after 48 hours or so at least to alert the friends and colleagues but unfortunately some unsolicited  announcements come even when the body is yet to get to the mortuary.

Mrs A had her husband in the hospital with great hope of him recuperating and reuniting with the family. She had left the hospital to go home to freshen up and bring meal for the sick husband but unfortunately the husband died few minutes after she left the hospital. Someone in the hospital got wind of the ugly development and without waiting for the arrival of Mrs A went to the social media page of the husband, pulled the picture and announced the obituary. Painfully, outsiders learnt of the death of Mr. A before his wife and children. The children started receiving calls from friends who got the news from the social media.  Unfortunately, their mum was unaware when they put a call across to her. The family was thrown into a confusion of managing a wife driving to meet her husband in the hospital when the social media is awash with news of the death of the same man. The shock of a development as this is unimaginable. It adds to the gravity of the loss of the family and is capable of causing depression.

Mr and Mrs Kokumo (Not real names) were at home relaxing while their son in the higher institution had died after a brief illness. The authorities of the institution had raised a team comprising the family Pastor to visit the family and break the news. However, the friends of the boy had taken to the social media with Gone Too Soon messages. A neighbour who saw the posts on the social media thought that the parents were aware already and only went to sympathize with Mr and Mrs Kokumo but ended up sending the mother to coma.

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In my opinion, rather than complicating and worsening the situation of the families, people should give the bereaved family adequate time to process the development, inform other members of the family so as to avoid a situation whereby members of a bereaved family get to know the loss of their loved ones via the social media. The bereaved family at least deserves some respect! Regardless of the age of the dead, the bereaved family deserves some respect !

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Beyond this, bombarding the bereaved family with series of questions on what happened, how it happened etc  as a show of love may eventually not be helpful as this has the potential to put so much pressure on the individuals concerned. Explaining the same thing over and over again has the capability to weigh the bereaved down both physically, emotionally and psychologically thereby creating another problem.

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Feel free to share your experience or opinion please.

Dr. Kayode Ogunjobi

Author
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Comments 17

  1. Aderohunmu Titilayo Surajat says:
    3 years ago

    Yeah, it’s true talk Dr, sympathiser suppose feel for the family of bereaved. Well done for write up.

    Reply
  2. Halima says:
    3 years ago

    This is well said

    Reply
  3. Laitoto says:
    3 years ago

    You nailed it my President! I hope and pray people can learn from this.
    God bless you Amino.

    Reply
  4. Prince Bayo says:
    3 years ago

    Some of these things are as a result of aged long practice, the way our fore fathers have been doing it. May God help us all to learn.

    Reply
  5. Sotonwa Rasaq says:
    3 years ago

    What a wonderful write up, I hope this piece of words will let people know the right things to do at the right time when someone is lost.

    Reply
    • Makinde Akeem says:
      3 years ago

      Your peice bring to the fore the other side of the social media, where anyone and everyone assumes the role of journalist looking for content and traffic at the expense of others. This social media madness has almost eroded our humanity , when we careless of the pains our act can cause others but just focusing on recording or filming accidents or events just as narrated in your peice. I hope we retrace our steps as humans and delineate situations. Weldone Comrade Pastor.

      Reply
      • ValidViewNetwork says:
        3 years ago

        Very apt! We need to retrace our steps

        Reply
  6. Fasunwon Olurotimi Williams says:
    3 years ago

    Indeed, rush to the social media to announce death of a person has caused more deaths and stroke ailments for the family members that received the news with shock. Breaking the news of a person to the family or very close friends require requires mature people with experience. Infact, some people have been reported dead on social media only to hear later that he/she was only in comma and was resuscitated in the hospital. My advice is that let people with itching fingers on their phone allow only designated/appointed family members to announce the death of their people to the public. Let’s not rush to announce such on social media as if you have been praying that such death should occur. No need to compete, you are not a radio station. Thank you.

    Reply
  7. Opeyemi Ogunsami says:
    3 years ago

    If only people would learn to focus on their lane and not cause unwarranted unrest in the lives of others that are transiting from a major loss to a new normal in their lives. Sincerely any one that hasn’t pass through the phase of losing a loved one will never understand the pains that comes with it, the vacuum left and the preparedness of the aftermath of the situation.
    Thank you Doctor for sharing. We keep learning

    Reply
  8. Adekanmbi Cole says:
    3 years ago

    This is perfect submission,Doc.
    I can say this as one of the disadvantages technology(social media) has brought upon us as a people. Consequently, as we all know that death is the end of every mortal which can come at anytime and anyway, we as human should always prepare our mind to accept this circumstance whenever it happens , though always tough to comprehend but a reality we don’t have power to repair when it knocks.
    This will surely safe the bereaved further casualties and disastrous situations.

    Reply
  9. Matthew Ajibade says:
    3 years ago

    True talk sir. I think this is a matter of maturity and wisdom as this kind of information is very sensitive. The idea of strategically breaking such news through delegates is good but not enough in most cases. Overall, may we not be at the receiving end. Only the man who wears the shoe can explain the pain.

    Reply
  10. Atayese Adijat Olabisi says:
    3 years ago

    It’s so sad. I’ve also seen instances where some people say bad things about the dead. Especially those you expect to know better. It keeps me wondering 🤔 nice post Doc.

    Reply
    • ValidViewNetwork says:
      3 years ago

      So unfortunate!

      Reply
  11. Ronke Aderinboye says:
    3 years ago

    Like the speed of light, men carry the tale of death faster than the tidings of a new birth. I wonder what their aims are? Sympathy or Schadenfreude? May the Lord comfort all who mourn.

    Reply
    • ValidViewNetwork says:
      3 years ago

      Amen and Amen. Sharp and insightful!

      Reply
  12. Ronke Aderinboye says:
    3 years ago

    Like the speed of light, men carry the tale of death faster than the tidings of a new birth. I wonder what their aim is? Sympathy or Schadenfreude? May the Lord comfort all who mourn.

    Reply
  13. Abiodun sowunmi says:
    3 years ago

    Nowadays people aren’t pray good thing to happen to others.when you achieve in life they will not happy with it but if something bad happened they will quickly take it to social media. God will save us from them.

    Reply

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